Something that I don’t really talk about a lot is issues rooted in self esteem. I consider myself a fairly confident person, and I work really hard to reach my goals both professionally and personally. Lifting, losing weight, and changing some negative habits I had have all done amazing things for my self esteem, and I am oddly a lot less focused on my outward appearance than I ever have been in the past.
One thing still kind of plagues me, though.
I have adult acne.
As a teenager I would get a pimple here and there, but nothing like the stuff that happens to my face on a daily basis now. I contribute it a lot to my work – not just the nature of being in a kitchen for long hours with deep fryers running, but also the stress that comes along with it.
I am hydrated, I eat fairly clean, I wash my face. It’s still there.
I’ve seen doctors about it, but I don’t want to go on medications that could have a serious impact on my overall health, and I am not a fan of long term antibiotic use age, either. I had acupuncture for awhile, laser treatments, microdermabrasion, chemical peels – all of which were great temporary fixes, but extremely costly for long term use.
Today, I’m going to start using Proactiv. I know it sounds cliche, but my mom bought it for me under the suggestion of “it really can’t make things any worse.” Unfortunately that is true. So here’s where I’m at day 1 of this whole experiment.
This blog is typically about all things gym and fitness related, but I wanted to share this experience for you because it truly does tie in with that.
Even though I feel good about the way my body looks, and I am so much more than my outward appearance and can prove it in my daily work, when one thing is off, sometimes it can make your confidence levels as a whole tank.
Some days my acne is so bad, I don’t want to be seen or talk to anyone. I can pile on as much make-up as I want, but it’s still there, and it doesn’t make me feel good about myself. Sometimes it is downright PAINFUL, it bleeds, and I can’t control it.
I want to be no make-up Martha (except for special occasions), happy, confident, and ready to tackle more adventures. I will let you know a month from now how this all pans out, and if it doesn’t, we will explore other options.
Do you guys have anything that holds you back from feeling as confident as you want to on a regular basis? How do you deal with it?